11 Facebook Friend Requests to Avoid

June 8, 2010 by Jennifer Bourn | 11 Comments

11 facebook friends to avoidAs a follow up to my post yesterday about my Facebook friend audit and the Reasons Behind Unfriending People on Facebook, I wanted to share with you my list of the Top 11 Facebook Friend Requests You Should Avoid.

You should not accept Facebook friend requests from (and all of these have happened to me), or people who may want to think about unfriending:

  1. People who use their dog, cat, or other pet as their avatar. Really, I don’t want to build a relationship with your pet.
  2. People who constantly post religious quotes and verses to other people’s walls. If they do it to other people, they’ll do it to you. I’m all for expressing yourself, but not for pushing it on others.
  3. People who use a stuffed animal as their avatar. This is even more weird that using your pet.
  4. People who don’t speak your language and don’t even post their updates in a language you can understand.
  5. People who seem to do nothing but play Facebook games and want to update you on the mob family, farm pets, restaurant guests, or on what movie or television show character the most resemble.
  6. People who use a body part as their avatar. I don’t think using a picture of a butt is a good idea ever. I didn’t accept this friend request, but was amazed which friends did accept the bikini clad butt as their friend.
  7. People who never post anything themselves. Are you a spammer, harvester, creepy lurker?
  8. People who use a stock photo, sunset, or “view” as their avatar. You may like it, but it isn’t about what you think is cool or pretty. People need to get to know you to build a relationship.
  9. People who post written profanity in their status updates. This is tacky and so much worse than actually saying those words. You actually had to think it and consciously type it. Really, does typing the f-word really make you feel like a man?
  10. People who tag other people in videos, photos, and other posts that have nothing to do with them. Um, yeah… that is just spam.
  11. People who post all kinds of junk to your wall, like the Blingee book posts.
  12. People who sell or pitch to you with their friend invite. This one (AWESOME) was suggested to me by my friend Andrea Costantine after reading the article in my newsletter this week!

Did I miss one? I’d love to hear about it!

FILED UNDER: Social Media & Social Networking
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    Feedback and Comments:

    1. Pseudo Nym

      Jun 08, 2010 at 11:11

      Sometimes, those “creepy lurkers”, as you put it, are simply shy people who are testing the social media waters.

      Bit harsh.

      Reply

      • Jennifer Bourn

        Jun 08, 2010 at 11:24

        Normally I don’t approve comments from someone who isn’t brave enough to stand behind their words and put a name with their comments, but I am for this one. Is it harsh, yes, maybe for some. But I am ok with that. I group and track all of the friends I accept, into groups according to what they do, where they live, and WHEN I accepted the friend request. This helps me out in a few ways.

        1) It helps me make sure I don’t send out invites to a local half-day or one-day event I am hosting to people who live in another country, or across the US. I like to make sure my communication isn’t spam.

        2) It helps me get targeted messages to the people who would care the most.

        3) It allows me to make sure I respect non-working friends, high school friends, family, and those who use Facebook for personal reasons and keep them off any lists who may receive marketing messages or event invites.

        4) I can see how long I have been friends with someone. If I’ve been friends with them for over a year and I have never seen anything from them in my status updates stream, the account is probably not in use, or is used for Facebook spamming, or harvesting … and those profiles get unfriended.

        Reply

    2. Dana Detrick from Serious Vanity Music

      Jun 08, 2010 at 11:47

      I think it’s pretty easy to tell within a reasonably short amount of time who is “shy”, and who is a social media nuisance. Testing the waters includes dipping your toes in, and people generally will add more friends, communicate a little, or be open to responding to private messages (especially if they’re the ones requesting you “add” them). I have definitely added new friends who were a bit quiet and scant on their pages, but if they’re not showing signs of interaction, they go (for all of the reasons Jennifer stated!).

      Reply

      • Jennifer Bourn

        Jun 08, 2010 at 12:17

        Dana – I agree. It is easy to tell the shy ones from the lurkers. Plus, those who are sky and testing the waters, are starting to engage and interact… they’re just starting slow. It a whole different ball game when it’s someone who hasn’t posted for long periods of time and have creepy photos!

        Reply

    3. Dale Debber

      Jun 08, 2010 at 11:55

      Many people feel or think that posting their picture on FB is a security risk. Pictures are one tool of identity thieves and other crooks. In Boy Scouts we are not EVER allowed to post a scouts picture – anyone under 21 actually – unless it is on asecure not public website. To do otherwise is to attract child pornographers, molesters, kidnappers and other bad guys.
      Adults – women in particular may feel that a single picture of them attracts unwanted attention of various kinds. I think people who use other than their real picture are the smartest.

      Reply

      • Jennifer Bourn

        Jun 08, 2010 at 12:25

        Dale – I completely disagree with you. Social media is a tool for building relationships. Facebook in particular is a social network. It is meant to be a place to connect, share, and build relationships. It’s hard to build a relationship with a fake/stock image or a photo you think is cool. Using your photo helps people get to know you, it helps people relate to you more and puts a face with the posts.

        I’m talking about adults not the boy scouts. Technically Facebook isn’t for the Boy Scout age group and if they are using Facebook, that’s an issue their parents need to deal with. And, if women don’t want the attention, they have two choices, 1) Don’t post inappropriate photos of themselves, and 2) unfriend or block the person making the comments. You’re only a victim if you choose to be.

        Reply

    4. Randi

      Jun 08, 2010 at 12:35

      Great way to stand by who you are Jennifer! Maybe we’re especially cautious because we’re women….and other reasons are obvious for business reasons. We’re not here to make friends with faceless strangers or to play Mafia Wars. I agree with you. I am always selective with who friends or follows me and have no issues with denying or blocking shady characters. Girl Power : )

      Reply

    5. BethTheIMVA

      Jun 21, 2010 at 11:16

      I recently adapted my security and most people noticed a whole 4 weeks after. They started complaining. I sent out a blog post about it because facebook is either where I work or where I rant/express/shout out to my friends, the close ones that is.

      My clients and possible leads have no business seeing that and strangers that add me can if they are local to my area BUT they are put in the deaf/mute room.

      Am I mean?… maybe… but then again I can’t stand strangers giving me opinions about my morning mood and hairy mishaps. I don’t need to NOt post that, I just manage you… that is my stance… Also I think I’m allowed to comment on poor service and sneaky tactics pulled on FB by other companies.. sux for you that I have a big chunk of the local populace and you look like an ass for what you did… but it needs to be said if it’s very annoying and disturbing. Better you don’t do it.. like,

      People that are utterly disrespectful of your contact info, using it for their own business purposes. I share my pages and update about my work.. YES.. but i never take people’s email and send mass emails about anything because I think it’s rather questionable to do so.

      Anyway… Fb is a bit of a gray place, half your home, half the streets you need to be selective, smart and secure your stuff so you are not tagged in a picture of someone’s butt mooning the authorities.. for example..

      Reply

      • Jennifer Bourn

        Jun 21, 2010 at 11:22

        Beth – I am cracking up! I completely agree with you. I group my friends by location, by profession, by relationship, etc. and it works. There are so many people using Facebook for their business incorrectly and I do get a lot of spam through Facebook as well. But, with that said, it is a great vehicle to connect with my audience, clients, and friends and I will continue to do so … with a eye on the unfriend / block option when things get inappropriate or spammy!

        Reply

    6. How to Market on Facebook Using Lists — Profitable Social Media Profitable Social Media

      Mar 11, 2011 at 07:59

      [...] can also add friends to an existing Facebook Friend List, or a brand new Friend List when you accept a Facebook friend request from someone (image 1 below), or send a friend request to someone (image 2 [...]

      Reply

    7. Robin Taney

      Jun 02, 2011 at 08:31

      Jennifer,

      I like these, although it’s hard to believe that people actually do this kind of stuff and don’t think it makes them look really snarky.

      Here’s a simillar post I wrote, but with a slightly different twist. I’d love your feedback.

      http://bit.ly/kHA8zs

      Robin

      Reply

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